Jeremy Pierre and Deepak Reju in their book The Pastor and Counseling posed this counseling scenario: Let’s say a professional Christian counselor and a professional secular counselor advise your member to go into his bedroom and punch a pillow when his wife angers him. This seems reasonable. It’s certainly better than punching his wife, and the pillow is replaceable. If the professional Christian counselor has advised this, your member might assume that this is biblically-based advice. After all, it doesn’t seem unloving to others or dishonoring to God to treat a pillow viciously. A professional Christian counselor giving such pillow advice would likely cite Scripture to make his point, maybe showing how Jesus directed his anger appropriately by overturning the money changers’ tables and not striking the money-changers themselves. And this would seem reasonably biblical to your member (Jeremy Pierre, Jeremy, and Deepak Reju. The Pastor and Counseling (9Marks, pp. 123-124. Crossway. Kindle Edition).
I agree with the response of Pierre and Reju: The apostle Paul would scoff at such advice, saying that it merely indulges a “fit of anger,” which is a “work of the flesh” (Gal. 5:19–20) (p. 124).
Jesus was angry at sin
Was Jesus merely “punching a pillow” when he turned over the money changers’ tables in the Temple? No. Jesus was angry at religious fruitlessness and specifically hypocrisy in the nation of Israel in cleansing the temple. Just prior to cleansing the temple, He cursed the fruitless fig tree which symbolized spiritually fruitless Israel. He was angry at sin in the nation for rejecting Him as their Old Testament prophesied Messiah. He was not angry at an individual. Peter says that when Jesus was reviled personally that he reviled not. When he suffered he threatened not (1 Peter 2:23). Jesus in the temple episode was practicing what Paul would later advise to "Be angry and not sin" (Eph 4:26).
The husband is not angry at sin
The husband who is ticked at his wife is not angry at sin but he is angry at some mannerism of his wife or her failure to meet his expectations. Even if the wife had sinned, anger is not the response of Jesus to an individual nor is anger the Scriptural solution. Again, Paul commanded, “Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it” (Eph 5:25). That is the example of Jesus to be followed. Punching a pillow doesn't solve the problem of out-of-control anger it only directs it at another object. The anger issue is still there unresolved.
The solution of anger is not punching anything
The solution for the counselee is first to be saved if he is not saved. If he is a believer, he needs to feed on God’s Word. David wisely said, “Your Word have I hidden in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11). Then the husband can be controlled by the Holy Spirit, and not by anger. The Holy Spirit produces the fruit of the Spirit which is the opposite of sinful anger: "Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control."
Even if the husband is saved and Spirit-filled marital conflicts will arise. John Maxwell advised that we practice the 24-hour rule. Within 24 hours resolve the issue, if another person has made you angry. If we let the anger build up, the anger will fester like a sore and eventually explode. Make reconciliation immediately. Paul exhorted, "Don't let the sun go down your wrath" (Eph 4:26). There are many Biblical solutions to sinful anger.